I found you!

Hello old friend. I found you. I read these old posts and now I feel sad. Because everything is much the same even though I thought it was quite different. What does that mean?  

The truth about yourself

Sometimes, I think I understand why some people are always searching for a diagnosis. Moody people are bi-polar, sad people are depressed. Scatter-brained? You have ADD. Have problems in social situations? Ah, social anxiety must be the answer. And it all boils down to the fact that if there isn't something clinically wrong with you, you have to face the TRUTH about yourself. You are lazy. You are immature. You are selfish. You are stupid. You are fat. All of those things that no one wants to face about themselves. And it puts the problem in your control. You can't blame it on the disease and you can't solve the problem easily with drugs. It takes hard work that is not for a weak person. If it was easy to change don't you think we would all be the people we want to be?

Question of the New Year

When are you and Beau going to start a family? If I had $5 for everytime we were asked that over the holidays, I could adopt 4 shoeless African children and change my name to Angelina Jolie.

It's the natural progression of things I guess. First is "when's the wedding?" Followed closely by the baby question. We're all guilty of it, I've asked it a few times myself. And lately it seems like there are babies everywhere I look! I know people having children who shouldn't even be allowed to take care of a house plant. Sometimes it's hard not to be jealous and think you could do a better job.

But the answer remains the same, it's gonna be awhile and we want to move closer to our families first.

It's something that we've talked about and that we both want. When we're ready. And until then we have 4 of the most fun nephews and one precious Godchild (love u Connor) to give us a reality check whenever we need it.


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Home Is Where Your Heart Is

I'm at my dad's house. A house that used to be my house too. I didn't live in this particular house for very long, as it was just finished being built three months before we got engaged. But any house my dad lives in, I would consider my home. It's hard to let go of that ownership. Of a place you feel so comfortable in. A place where you can 100% be yourself, where filters are not necessary, and conversation is easy.

I love it in Greenwood. I had THE BEST long weekend here. I spent every minute either with someone I love and miss or in a place I love and miss (ie: the Greenwood Park Mall. Lol. I must have gone in there at least 4 seperate times this weekend)
But even though I had all this fun here I still missed Beau. Which is a good thing! There are times I worry that when I go home I won't miss him. I have mixed feelings about being here without him. I LOVE the freedom of coming here without him. I go where I want and do what I want and I don't have to worry about him being bored or tired.
But I also feel like he misses out on some amazing moments in my life. For example, I spent two days with my nephews, Gavin and Garrett. What amazing little people they are turning in to!!!! With there own thought and feelings and wild imaginations! There were several times that I wished he was there to see what little comedians they are!

Even in just one year of marriage I have learned something important,though. We don't have to do everything together. I need to come home to my family, too. And it's no one's fault but my own if I don't make time to do it. I don't want to miss out on making memories with my own family.

Home Is Where Your Heart Is. And sometimes that means it's in two places at once.




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In the beginning...

In the beginning there was me and there was him and there was love. The married life was a distant fairytale I dreamt about from almost the day we met. See, I knew things were different with him from any relationship I had ever been in, right from the start. I told him on one of our first real dates that he would fall in love with me. He probably thought I was crazy. But that should have been his first lesson in life with me: I am always right. And as the days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and months turned into years, my fairytale materialized before my eyes.

Which leads us to where we are now. I love my husband and I love our cute little family. My happiest times are at night watching tv snuggled up next to Beau with Freeney awkwardly trying to be a lap dog in the middle. But Beau can't be here all the time, and without friends of my own here, there's LOTS of time to think. I mean for this blog to be my creative outlet. I hope it helps people understand and know more about me. I want to use it as a way to preserve new memories and relive old ones.

It took me a long time to decide if and how to do this. It will still take some bravery to be honest here and not care that the world can see into my life. But if one person reads what is here and laughs, cries, or relates to what I'm saying, then putting it out there is worth it.

Happy reading to you. Happy writing to me.

Agnes Greenwood

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